Little Worlds
by sue-sylvester-shuffle
Summary: (Takes place after chapter 33) Every time Finny is forced to kill people, he gets... hollow. All Mey-Rin wants is to see the cheerful boy she so loves, but he's like an empty shell. Slight Finny/Mey-Rin.


When the heavy smoke finally cleared, it was over.

It went without saying that the servants had done their job well. All of the intruders- all five of them- were dead. Bard, Mey-Rin, and Finny stood alone amongst the rubble, their faces lit by the fires all around them. The manor was silent- there was nothing to be said.

Tentatively, Mey-Rin removed her round glasses from the top of her head where they had been perching, and placed them back on her face. She glanced over at Bard, but only saw the back of him as he walked slowly away, a thin trail of cigarette smoke rising over his head. She then glanced over at Finny, and found him looking exactly as she had expected him to; staring off into the distance with an empty look in his turquoise eyes.

He always got that way after he killed people. Mey-Rin had seen it before, every time they had had to protect the Phantomhive Manor while Sebastian was away. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that the gardener had been forced to fight and kill his friends when he was a test subject, but she could never be sure. She'd always been careful not to bring it up when he returned to normal, in fear of sending him spiralling back down.

"Finny." she said softly, breaking the silence. It shattered with a sound that she could almost hear, entering the pattern of her heart's incessant pounding.

Finny didn't look up at her. Then again, he never did. When he got this way, he completely entered his own world. He didn't react to anything, nor did he speak. Sometimes it only lasted a few minutes. Sometimes it lasted days.

"Finny." she repeated, gently lifting his chin so he was looking into her face. There was blood dripping from his forehead, the source hiding beneath his long, strawberry-blonde hair. Mey-Rin lifted his bangs and saw a large gash there. Immediately, a stab of concern pierced her. "What happened?" she asked, secretly hoping he would respond, although she knew he wouldn't.

The blonde gardener stared into her eyes, his hollow gaze cloudy. He did not speak.

Mey-Rin's heart ached to see him so vacant. In her mind, she pictured his usual cheerful disposition and huge grin. He was so _full_- of life, of happiness, of everything. Not like the hollow shell she looked upon now. The face in her mind did not match the face she looked upon now.

"Okay." she whispered, hoping he wouldn't hear the choking sorrow in her voice. "Come on, let's get you all cleaned up." She took him by the hand and headed toward the manor. He walked slowly behind her, seemingly unsure.

The maid led the gardener to the bathroom that the three servants shared, where she sat him down on the counter. He stared blankly after her as she went over to a nearby cabinet and took out a facecloth.

"I'm going to clean the blood off of you, okay?"

Finny blinked slowly back at her. His silence brought a pang of sorrow to Mey-Rin, but she ignored it and wettened the facecloth. Trying to be as gentle as she could, she dabbed at his forehead. He didn't wince as the cloth ran over his wound, nor did he say anything. Mey-Rin tried to keep a welcoming smile on her face, hoping that would bring him out of his little universe of shame.

Once she had cleaned all of the blood off of Finny's face, and the facecloth was stained scarlet, she grabbed a roll of bandages from the cabinet and began wrapping his forehead. Again, he did not react at all.

However, while Mey-Rin was around behind him, clipping the trailing end of the bandage to the layer underneath to keep it from unraveling, he finally spoke.

"The big man hit me."

She jumped at the sudden sound of his voice. "Pardon?" she asked incredulously, moving around to face him again.

"You asked what happened." Finny mumbled, absentmindedly brushing his fingers across the fresh bandages on his head. "You did. You asked me that, remember?"

"Right." Mey-Rin nodded, not bothering to mention that she had asked that question over ten minutes ago. "So… you said a man hit you?"  
He nodded slowly. "Uh-huh. A big man. He was bald… and _reeeeeeally_ tall. He hit me, and… and knocked me down."

She frowned. "That wasn't very nice of him, no it wasn't!"

Finny shook his head. "No. It wasn't. So I killed him."

_That explains why I never saw a tall, bald man, _thought Mey-Rin bitterly. _Finny must have already killed him… _"That's alright." she reassured him, taking his hands in her own. His hands were trembling badly. "He tried to hurt you, and he was going to hurt Lady Elizabeth, too. You did the right thing, Finny."

Finny didn't seem to have heard her. "He's dead now." he continued. "Because of me."

"Well… yes."

He looked up at her, and his eyes were brimming with tears. "I don't like killing people, Mey-Rin. I hate it."

"I know. Me too." admitted Mey-Rin, giving his hands a little comforting squeeze. "But it's why we were hired, yes it is. To protect the young master and the manor. And if that means killing people… well… that's what we have to do."

"The only thing I can do is kill." mumbled Finny.

"No, that isn't true." Mey-Rin told him, although her whole body stiffened at his words. That was the exact same thing she'd been told, before she was hired. "Finny-"

"It's… it's like… like when I was… was imprisoned there…" Tears began trickling down his cheeks.

Mey-Rin leaned down and engulfed him in a hug. She heard muffled sobs and sniffles from beside her as he cried into her shoulder. "It's going to be okay, yes it is." she whispered, rubbing his back in a soothing manner. "Because it's not like that place. Mister Sebastian doesn't give you injections, does he?"

"N-No…"

"And you only have to hurt people who are going to hurt the young master. Not your friends."

"Yeah…"

"And you aren't all alone." She gently lifted his head away from her shoulder, so that their eyes met. "I'm here, Finny. And Bard, Mister Sebastian, and the young master, too."

The gardener nodded. "Right. Oh… Mey-Rin, I'm sorry…" He wiped his sleeve across his cheeks to dry them. "I… I'm a crybaby, aren't I."

"No, of course not." Mey-Rin said, shaking her head vigorously. "You were just upset, yes you were!"

"I just hate killing people." explained Finny. "It makes me feel like I'm just as bad as those scientists. You know… the ones who…"

"I know which ones you mean." She frowned. "Finny, you aren't even _half _as bad as those scientists. You… you aren't bad at _all_. They were awful people who did awful things to children like you. And you… you're just a boy with someone to protect."

"You really think I'm a good person?" asked the blonde gardener, his turquoise eyes filled with insecurity. Mey-Rin's heart went out to him.

"A 'good' person?" she repeated, her eyes widening behind her thick, round glasses. "Oh, Finny, you're better than that. You're an amazing person."

Finally, a small smile spread across his face. He wasn't quite as cheerful as he usually looked, but at least now the face in Mey-Rin's memories was recognizable as the red-faced, tearful boy in front of her. "Really?" he asked shyly.

"Yes, of course." The maid took his hands in hers again. "You're the happiest person in this manor. You always put a smile on my face, yes you do!" She laughed softly in joy and relief as he began to grin widely. "You're sweet, and helpful, too. I'm sure anyone else here would tell you the same if you asked. Don't even bother comparing yourself to those nasty scientists. They lose by a landslide."

"Oh, Mey-Rin, thank you!" He jumped to his feet and hugged her. "You're the best."

"No, _you're _the best." she chuckled, affectionately tousling his hair.

Immediately he gave a little gasp. "Ouch!"

Mey-Rin jerked her hand away. "Did I hurt you?"

He rubbed at the bandages on his forehead, cringing. "I… I guess my wound is still pretty fresh…"

"Sorry." said Mey-Rin. "Why don't you go and lie down for a bit? Maybe you would feel better after that."

"Okay." Finny nodded. Then he looked up at her, his expression hopeful. "Will you, um… will you come too?"  
The maid smiled. "I'd be happy to, yes I would." she replied cheerfully.

Finny took her hand, and they went across the hall to the room that they shared with Bard. Inside, the two of them lay down on Finny's bed together. The gardener rested his head in the crook of her neck as they stared at the ceiling.

"I'm glad Mister Sebastian saved you too." he whispered, fingering a lock of her magenta hair that had fallen askew. "I love having you around, Mey-Rin."

She raised her head to kiss the top of his head. "And I love having you around, too."

Just then, Finny yawned. "Mm. Sorry… I'm a bit sleepy… but… Mey-Rin, if I fall asleep… will you stay here?"

"Of course." she replied quietly, removing her glasses and placing them on his bedside table.

He sighed in contentment, and nestled closer to her. Mey-Rin smiled secretly to herself. Not only had she freed him from the little world of guilt he had entered, but now the two of them shared their own private little world. It wasn't a perfect little world, but considering the hellish places that they had dwelled in before Sebastian saved them… it was like a sanctuary.

end


End file.
